Car Transportation Problems Solved!

Production has already begun on a car that will replace those of the internal combustion engine (ICE) variety. Using a zinc-air fuel cell, with fully recyclable zinc, the cars are being produced under joint agreement between GM, Toyota, Tata (of India), and SAIC (of China). The companies have been working together behind the scenes to address the issues of peak oil and climate change, both of which, they all now publicly admit, threaten the the very existence of their industry.

Toyota CEO Katsuaki Watanabe was surrounded by reporters after he spoke in Nagoya, Japan, detailing the plan.

Through an accelerated buy-back system and licensing of the new technology with other car makers, the companies say they will be able to replace half the existing fleet of ICE cars within just the next eight years. Other technologies, such as all electric and hybrid vehicles will also continue to be developed and freely compete with the fuel cell vehicles, the focus being to totally phase out ICE engined cars.

The zinc-air fuel cells produce a non-toxic byproduct, zinc oxide, a sort of viscous creamy white substance, which can be recycled into new zinc fuel pellets using electrolysis and walnut oil. Stanford University labs have developed a catalyst for use in the systems – from theobroma cacau – basically cocoa solids. Sufficient quantities of zinc are readily available, and since it is recycled, there will be no on going need for ever increasing quantities. The amount of cocoa solids and walnut oil will require some expansion of these agricultural products, but are not expected to put a strain on food prices, as has ethanol.

Remarkably, the zinc-air fuel cell cars produce no greenhouse gases. Instead, as they motor along, out the back, on a little tray, they leave a row of small, thick white pellets, surrounded by a chocolate whirl with a walnut on the top.

(April Fools)


Happysurfer said...


Something in the right direction.

Olivia said...

It's a good idea though!

And much better looking than the Toyota Prius.

I mean, I'd love to go affordably electric without getting into something that looks like a doorstopper.

Olivia said...

P.S. Plus, I'd prefer to buy my chocolates in a shop rather than have my car poop them out for me.

khengsiong said...

Great. I hope in 5 years we will see Boeing and AirBus making planes powered by zinc-air fuel cells. Then you will not have excuse to blast the air travelers.

Pandabonium said...

Happysurfer - actually, not. sorry. Fuel cells of all kinds require energy which must come from somewhere, so they can never be a solution to energy shortage. There simply isn't any cheap replacement for fossil fuels.

Olivia - see above. I happen to like the Prius and think the car pictured (GM's taxpayer financed boondoggle hydrogen fuel cell car) is ugly. In the eye of the beholder?

I'm with you though, when it comes to not eating "road chocolates". :p

Khengsiong - I seem to have touched a nerve in that previous post. Sorry, but I think you misunderstood me. I was not slamming all air travelers (I'm a pilot for goodness sake), just the few "jerks" who spoil it for the rest of us.

Olivia said...

You know, this (new, LCD) computer screen at work is awful for viewing images. I've just spent a minute or so screwing my eyes up to look at the ugly GM concept again, and noticed that what I previously thought were flush tinted headlights are actually scary inset grilles! EW! I now agree with you fully. It needs some cosmetic work done...

The Moody Minstrel said...


It could've happened...

FH2o said...

I like the end bit about the chocolate poop ... brilliant! ;)

Swinebread said...

ha ha ha ha

I'm gonna go cry now

Robin said...

Good to know..

Hope this technology will bring public good.

Electric cars and Hybrids cars are already in the market and did pick up much excitment.

Hope this one does.

jam said...

Is the last paragraph a joke? Anyway, more and more researches had been carried out to invent an environmentally free vehichles in the near future. But I believe such car can't be cheap!

Pandabonium said...

Jam - Sorry. In many countries, the first of April is a day for playing tricks and jokes. This entire post is an "April Fools Day" joke, aimed at people who think there will be some technological miracle that will allow them to keep driving cars and making millions more of them even as fossil fuels deplete.

Keeping cars going in the future is the least of our worries. Food is number one, as modern agriculture uses huge amounts of fossil fuel inputs.