Congratulations! It's A . . . . . Squid

"Congatulations! It's a...squid." ~ Tommy Lee Jones line in "Men In Black" after Will Smith helps to deliver a space alien baby.

Oops, sorry. Wrong entertainment.

The big meaningless diversion news in Japan today was that Princess Kiko gave birth to a boy, ending the hand wringing in the Japanese Royal Family over whether they would have another male heir to the throne or would have to change the rules and allow a - GASP! - female to ascend to the throne. I'm sure the men are all slapping each other on the back, especially the politicians who had been drafting legislation to allow for it. They are probably getting blotto tonight and saying things like "A woman, an Emperess, what the hell were we thinking?" And, "Man, that was a close call."

Here we see Princess Kiko and her dorky husband, Prince Akishino and two perfectly healthy and normal daughters Mako and Kako. What are they? Space alien squid?

May as well be according to the rules of the house regarding inheriting the throne. (Not to mention the enormous family treasure of gold looted from all of Asia during their occupation by Japan, some of which went to Ferdinand Marcos, the CIA and General MacArthur, political bribes and the reconstruction of Japanese industry.)

Anyway, I have about as much interest in the personal lives of royalty as I do professional baseball, which is to say nil, but I can't help poking fun at their absurd games disguised as greatness. As Mark Twain wrote, "There never was a throne which did not represent a crime."

Hang in there Mako and Kako. You may not be in line for the throne, but you can gang up on little brother for some time before he gets there. As for you new Prince whatever they decide to call you, you not only have to deal with two big sisters, but also your cousin, Princess Aiko, who might have been in line for the throne were it not for your birth. Good luck, kid.


The Moody Minstrel said...

Actually, my biggest worry is for Crown Princess Masako. On one hand, she might be feeling an enormous sense of relief since, as far as traditionalist Japan is concerned, she is now officially "off the hook". However, since the next-in-line heir apparent is not her own child but rather a nephew, that could put her in a very awkward and humiliating position. Her general worth will probably be seen as greatly diminished.

The poor woman has already suffered enough. Let's just get off the hype thing already.

laminar_flow said...

Gender pressure?

Pandabonium said...

Moody - absolutely right. I started to include that story, but lost my sense of humor and started a rant, so didn't put that in the post. It is despicable what they have done to her. But then, they're they are royals - I shouldn't expect better of them.

Laminar_flow - big time.

Happysurfer said...

Yes, poor Princess Masako. I'm not familiar with the hierarchy. What if she bears a son? Would that make him the second in line after his father?

Pandabonium said...

Happysurfer - Princess Aiko is the one who is most being treated like an Alien Squid in the case, as she might have been in line to be empress.

My initial reaction to your question was "who cares"? Royal families are such an absurd anachronism, after all.

Technically I think you're right. He would be 3rd - after his uncle.

On the practical side, though, Masako is done having kids - she's 42 or 43 already. She also suffered a miscarriage in 1999. The whole thing put over the deep end psychologically. Probably why she is now in Holland. Biologically possible that she could have another, but not bloody likey to happen.

Pandabonium said...

Well, Happy, K has corrected me. If Masako had a son, he would be in line right after his dad, so 2nd, not 3rd.

She also pointed out that the Emperor could decide a different order if he so chose.

wtfdu - acronym for "what the f*&% do you..."

Robin said...

With all the attention given to the littel prince..

Poor Kid.

Happysurfer said...

Pandabonium, that's what I said...2nd in line after his dad. Whatever... So there's no hard and fast rule - the Emperor still has the last say.

wtfdu - acronym for "what the f*&% do you..."

I'd add a 'c' to the end as in
"what the f*&% do you care. Oh well.......

Thank you for the clarification.

YD said...

that's why i don't like royals... or should i say, i don't like the system, and i pity the people stuck in there...

Pandabonium said...

Don't feel too sorry for them. In exchange for their part acting out the government's Imperial shibai (puppet drama) to provide distraction to the masses, they are well paid. The new kid brings with him an income of over 3 million yen which means the household of Prince Akishino will be getting 54.9 million yen per year. That's 1.74 million Ringgit or US$467,000.

YD said...

holy cow! that's a huge sum of money which can be put into other use for good causes!!

sigh, no matter which countries they are from, all the royals have one thing in common - luxury and lavishness.