2006/06/18

Translate This! Babel Fish

I have added the "Babel Fish" translator to the blog. If you want to see the blog in one of eight different languages other than English, click on a flag. I have no idea how well it works but in any case there are two things it most assuredly will NOT do:

1) Make sense of my writing.
2) Translate the following new words.....

A tip of the hat to my uncle C who sent this to my sister S who sent it to me. (email spreads information kind of like the bird flu).

The Washington Post's Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's winners:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

9. Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action .

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole

Other neologisms:
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer
the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over
by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

14 comments:

Robin said...

I put up one too.

Amazing, isn't it?

The Moody Minstrel said...

Maybe we should have a "baffle Babel" contest where we see who can come up with the most ridiculous Babel Fish translation.

Happysurfer said...

Something like Word verification.
LOL!

Pandabonium said...

Moody, one make a game kind of like the kid's game "telephone". Start with by sending a phrase, the next person translates it with Babel Fish and passes it on to a third person who translates it into yet another language and so on. Finally it gets translated back into the original language and we compare the result with the original statement.

Nah, too much trouble. But it would be fun to see what would happen.

Pandabonium said...

Happy - I'm going to start using these words in the blog and see if anyone catches it.

Pandabonium said...

So Robin, which is your favorite funny word/definition in the list?

Peceli and Wendy's Blog said...

Well I tried Russian but I got your words in English and then lots of squares - guess I don't have the script.
Nice list. I'll post it on to friends who might like cheering up. Did you know - I guess you know everything - that laughter can help people to avoid heart attacks? Scientific evidence that it helps the flow of blood, etc.
W.

Pandabonium said...

Wendy, I didn't know that about preventing heart attacks. Interesting. (Actually I don't know much about anything so I'm always looking things up.) I just know these days I need a good laugh.

Do you know Russian? I've never been good at learning languages.

Happysurfer said...

Pandabonium, we'll have to use your post as a guide like a dictionary or reference source sort of. It'll be fun.

jairam said...

Funny and witty! No. 16 is my favorite :)

Pandabonium said...

Happy - that may be the "dopeler" effect affecting you. :^)

Thanks Jairam - hmmm I wonder who you would use no. 16 to describe?

FH2O said...

I like no.6!

Had a lot of fun with Babel Fish!

Pandabonium said...

fh20 - good, glad you had fun. Yeah, "inoculatte" is a good one for Agus too I think. ;^)

Or did you mean the 2nd #6 -negligent?

:-o

Pandabonium said...

Wendy,

Oddly enough K's computer does not display Babelfish results either. A few words or letters, then gobledigook.

I think it has something to do with browswer settings, but I haven't the time to figure it out.

Sorry.